who cares????? I CARE....well i do now!

this has nothing to do with my pictures today...and well since this blog is about my life also (well kinda) its ok for me to write about it right?


I HAVE DECIDED TO START CARING! to start caring about myself bc lets face it, who is going to if i don't? that's right no one!!!!! why would anyone have respect or care about me when i don't? i think that people follow by example! if you act like your feelings don't get hurt or they don't matter so will the people around you. i also wanted to just state that the saying "treat people the way you would want to be treated" is a bunch of bs. WHY??? well some people are just jerks...no matter how you treat them or how much you try to be kind they still like to stomp on you for good measure! so along with caring about myself i am also going to work on caring about others but not so much so that i let them run me down every time they see fit.  I AM IMPORTANT 2! just bc some don't think i am does not make it so. without me, my daughter would not have a mother and that in its self makes me important. do i have other factors that make me important??...sure we all do but i think it is  imperative to stand up for our selves. Don't be the low man on the totem pole just bc other people put you there. have enough confidence in yourself to say hey it's ok if some people don't like me. I don't have to change myself or belittle myself just so they will hang around for a little while, or will say a kind word to me ever so often. i am going to care about myself and if others have a problem with that they can be on there way! i am no longer going to apologize for myself (unless i have done something and i am in the wrong). i am also no longer going to put others life ahead of my own and my family's. and last but not least i am not going to deal with judgement from others, you do what works for you and leave it at that. i am also going to work at not judging others bc well it hurts and there is always another story to be told. Oh and one last thing..... if you send a zinger my way expect one back!!!! i have had enough with the bullies in my life and i plan on changing it real soon!!!



CARING FOR SELF STARTS...........................................NOW!!!!!!!:

today is the day

lol well today is the day that i have decided i am going to start off my year round journey. I am sure it will continue past a year because lets face it...if it only took a year to become a photographer then there would be a whole lot more of us:).

you might be wondering what i am shooting with:). i have a canon rebel xs with a 25-90mm and 18-55mm lense. that is it....lol. i do have photoshop and a pathetic attempt at a fake wall setup. as of right now i only shoot with natural light and do my best not to use a flash.

so how did i get into photograhy?? lets see if i can sum this up with out going on and on:) ever since i can remember my grandpa always had a camera around his neck. he was one of those hard core hobbiests. always taking beautiful pictures of all us kids. he use to take us on these great vacations where i had the opprotunity to take pics of the sites. i was always told that hey.... "you can take a good pic". lol meaning it was centered, my thumb was not in the way and i did not cutt off peoples heads:). i thought it was fun and all but nothing i HAD to do or really had a ton of interest in.

Grandpa got cancer when i was a sophmore in high school. he was to live a year and died a week later. i lost my grandpa, my dad, my rock.......my BEST FRIEND. after his dealth i moved on and continued to live my life, only instead of him holding my hand....he was holding my heart. i would often wonder what he would think of my husband and if he would be happy with my choices. THEN i had skyelar. i knew right away how much he would have loved to meet her and play with her and be apart of her life. soooo what do most parents do after having a baby???? lol yep they take pictures and lots of them!!!! It finally clicked why grandpa had a camera attached to his neck! he did not want to miss a moment in our lives and it is amazing to look through that view finder hear a click and freeze a moment in time. i began to see the beauty in photography that i had not seen before and have developed a deep love for it. even though my grandpa is no longer with me as soon as i pick up that camera i feel linked in a way to him and would like to think one day that when its my turn to go, my daughter and lives i have touched will be left with memories from one click of my camera and a frame frozen in time.

just a couple

adding 2 from last week